Starting back

I have been beating myself up for years now that I’ve not been posting. I had this perfectionist idea that I would have to fill in all the gaps that I’d left. And my life has taken a really different direction from what I thought. I’ve not been posting because life with three young kids is insane and insanely busy. I’m mainly prepping snacks, while someone (usually my 4 year old son) is using me as a climbing frame, while someone else is having a meltdown (at least two of my kids are autistic) and so holidays have been tricky, camping has been tricky, but outdoors has been everything. Letting my children be the wild bare-footed things that they are has been key. And it’s been a big journey of discovering who I am, and what I feel is the point of it all. I’ve learnt more about myself through my kids than I would ever have figured out on my own. I have had to tap into empathy that I didn’t know I had, It’s taken me a very long time, trial and error, and long ponderments on the beach, but I’m happier than I’ve been for as long as I can remember. Part of that has been awakening and accepting my creativity, and the validity of my

First attempt at willow charcoal - gorgeously tactile

dreams, as outlandish and unrealistic as they may seem. So I’ve been teaching myself to draw and paint.

Time alone at sunset on a beach is hard to beat for getting some headspace and clarity

I really want to start writing. Poems, this blog, a story, a book. I don’t really know where to start, so following a very serendipitous haircut appointment yesterday, I’ve decided to start here, with this. I’ve no idea where it will take me, if anyone will ever read any of it, and if any of what I will write about will resonate, but I figured I have to start somewhere, and this is as good a place as any.

Watch this space.